I was sold a lie
I have been in a coaching course for a couple of years.
At first I felt like I was learning a new approach to just doing better at work. Focusing on priorities. Figuring out how to communicate across the organization.
These seemed like common sense. Do good work. Focus on what’s important. Find mentors.
But, after following those, I actually found myself in more hot water, not less.
And I realized that, underneath this advice, was a fallacy about work.
Unless you are to open your eyes and see the “truth,” you may fall into the traps that limit your career.

Before I start breaking down common notions that will mislead you, I also want to issue a follow-up warning:
If you just remain on the “negative” side of the truth, you’ll be jaded and depressed. Push through to the “other side”
What I mean is strive to be the “happy realist”: fully understand the true underlying truths and come up with new mindsets to thrive and not let you down.
The following is a quote from a book which I won’t share because many of the comments are too brutal.
But it’s valuable to start from there as a “shock” to the system:
Damned few, if any, in top management care if you, your co-workers, your boss or even his boss are treated unfairly or abused. In the upper reaches of all major corporations everybody knows that ordinary employees, in fact most employees, are as expendable as a sheet of paper and replaced as easily.
Ouch. This needs to be the starting point as you think about your life and your career.
The writer continues:
Don’t waste time trying to force The Company to be fair. They’ll simply replace you, then blacklist you forever within their industry.
Knowing how to tilt an unfair game in you favor is the beginning.
But in order to know how to do that, you need to recognize the foundational rules of the game.
The real rules of the game.
I found that this coach, at times, glossed over it, and started from a perspective which often amounted to the false rules. Here are some of them (which do you subscribe to):
- Companies and leaders think logically what’s best for the business
- Organizations and workplaces value justice and fairness
- Good work always rises to the top
Now, these often appear to be true. For example, companies may often say that they want fairness. But that doesn’t mean they really do or behave that way.
It may often appear that good work rises to the top, but that doesn’t mean that was the only factor in play.
How we address the real rules of work and shift the mindset is of critical importance if you want to not only thrive, but make the workplace better for you and for others.
What do you think about that?
In your next Cohort, share your reaction privately. If you aren’t in a Cohort, comment directly here.
Pro Tip: Engage, Don’t Just Consume
I was once like you, a lurker.
But when I asked a question or posted a comment, I got some benefits:
- Ideas developed on their own in my subconscious
- My behavior changed without dealing with “habits”
- I learned I wasn’t crazy because people had the same thoughts as I did
- Somebody actually shares something that changes my own thoughts
So, don’t be a Consumer. Engage!